WRITE BIGGER

A Resource Guide for Write Big

© 2023 Victoria S. Payne. Boxcar Writing Labs. All Rights Reserved.

 

RESOURCES

 

This resource guide contains supplementary articles, information, links, and overall helpful information for all readers of Write Big. While Write Big focusing on helping you gain acceptance into college, the resources here are meant to help you succeed in college.

 

If along the way you have questions or comments, I would love to hear from you. You can reach me at [email protected]. If you’ve encountered this resource guide but don’t have Write Big: From College Application Essay to Storytelling Standout, it’s available on Amazon.

 

 

 

 

 

1

A WELL-ADJUSTED COLLEGE EXPERIENCE

[LIFE]

Getting into your dream school is an exciting achievement, but once the thrill of acceptance fades, graduation happens, and summer is over, there’s the reality of settling into your new space.

No matter how many visits you’ve taken to campus or how excited or nervous you are to leave home, there will be normal adjustments to college. In fact, you can rest easy knowing colleges around the country have studied and prepared for your future problems.

You will be receiving a lot of advice. Some of it you shouldn’t take. But the following are tips gathered from college students and universities to help ease your transition into the first year at college.

#1 Making friends. Maybe talking to new people makes you nervous. Maybe you consider yourself shy or introverted. But your successful transition to college depends on getting to know your classmates and forming strong relationships because most certainly you will experience challenges, setbacks, and failures in college. These problems may come from home (or relationships away from college) or they may be problems at school, but having friends you trust will make an important difference in your life.

 

Also, consider that every freshman is in your same position. Everyone is new and needing to build their own nests. While you may find it awkward to strike up a conversation with an unfamiliar classmate, take advantage of the natural opportunities that spring forth from making introductions, attending orientations, or greeting students in your dorm.

 

If you are an extrovert, you may be tempted to befriend everyone. But remember it’s quality over quantity. Extroverts need deep bonds to succeed in college, more than they need a hundred new friends.

#2 Changing majors. As Ellie, a college sophomore at Oregon State University, told me recently, she was surprised to discover how common it is for students to switch majors. If you’ve left home with big plans to become a doctor or teacher or business woman, don’t panic if your classes introduce some doubts about your future. As normal as it is to change majors, it’s also normal to experience doubt. Also, if you start college undeclared and feel insecure about your non-major identity, relax knowing that even those who are declared have doubts about the future. Both declared and undeclared majors should meet their college counselors and talk to them about their future plans.

How do you know if you should change majors? Your new friends are amazing, but they may not be able to help you with this problem. Certainly talking to trusted friends or family members is a great start, but really lean into your academic advisor, maybe even the counseling department at your school. Make appointments to consider your options, so you understand the costs and benefits with changing majors. Also, connect with at least one professor. Ask them to tell you the story of how they became the teacher you know today. You may be surprised at the windy path some of us take to our final career destination. As you (re) consider your major, consider what The New York Times calls the Six Myths about Choosing a Major.

#3 Dealing with homesickness. I couldn’t wait to go to summer camp as a kid, but inevitably I would make friends with another camper who was painfully homesick. She would not want to play, swim, or even enjoy the outings with the other kids. I use to marvel at homesickness, but after working with college students for two decades I discovered just how normal it is for even the bravest of students. In fact, if you aren’t someone to miss home, like me as a child, you might find yourself feeling somewhat homeless. Home may not feel like the place you come from but it’s not yet the new place either. 

 

The solution? As much as you would like to pack your bags or even transfer to a new school, make sure you’ve fully embraced the menu of opportunities at school. When my friend began playing, swimming, and horseback riding at camp she began to remember why she was away from home. She still missed her mom, but she could stand on her own two feet—at least for a week.

Of course, your experience at college is well beyond my camp analogy but there is still some wisdom here. Make sure you're doing more than your classes. (And make sure you are attending your classes.) Find a club, a cause, a group of people that inspire you. Attend guest lectures, concerts, and other student events. Just as you embraced the role of main character for your college application essay, you are still the protagonist of this story. So go on, feel homesick AND get out there and have some adventures. Like the protagonist, your moral and psychological development depends on an interesting plot. Perhaps most importantly, don’t beat yourself up over being homesick, which only means you are attached to your roots. Psychologists like Krystine I. Batcho are even asking questions about whether homesickness is a weakness or a strength. If you’re missing home, she says to "Transform the grief of separation to nostalgia."

 

Finally, there are real reasons to consider going home or switching schools. I do not want to suggest that plugging in will solve some of the problems my own students have faced with sick parents, injury or illnesses, or even a failure to thrive in the Portland climate. Lean on your advisors in such time and make an appointment to visit your school’s health center, where there are trained professionals to advise you. Whatever route you take, don’t wait for these feelings to subside or keep them to yourself. We are made to help each other, and some people, like the mental health professionals at universities, have built whole careers out of their love of helping young people just like you.

#4 Waving Your Freedom Flag. Hooray! You are finally, finally on your own. You’ve not just jumped out of the nest—you’re flying! Isn’t it awesome?! 

Just this week, I spoke with a college freshman who recounted the thrilling first semester away at college. He loved going out every night and found that college gave him so many opportunities to socialize. He assumed his grades were fine, in fact, he believed he was doing quite well. But when his parents visited at mid-terms and they looked at his grades together, he was shocked: three Ds and one F. Did I mention he was attending his dream school?

This story is perhaps a common one for college freshman who are celebrating their freedom and forgetting (often intentionally) the importance of a balanced lifestyle. Yes, even college students need a balanced lifestyle. As a former college professor, my number #1 piece of advice is to attend your classes. Always. I never had a student attend all classes and get lower than a B. Why? Because they received all of the instruction, in addition to the added learning from our reading and writing assignments. Additionally, get some sleep. While partying all night might be cool, attending class and sleeping at your desk is very uncool. 

 

In the end, you can use college to form healthy habits or you can find ways to scrape by and get your diploma. It’s certainly possible to party and finish school—but it’s also extremely stressful, not to mention in some cases dangerous. As you embrace your new freedoms at school, embrace the flip side of independence: you are the only person who can truly take care of yourself. So, do a good job. To hear a college student's point of view, read The New York Times blog on “The 'Heady Rush' of Freedom of Freedom in College, and How to Manage It."

#5 Managing Stress. College should challenge you. In fact, if you fought hard for your acceptance you may experience a gap in the expectations of high school and college. Additionally, if you have a career plan that includes graduate school, you may be diving right into a first year that could extend for five, six, or even eight more years of formal education. If at all possible, I recommend taking less credits your first term. Sure, you could technically handle eighteen credits but why not try fifteen or even twelve? Those other three credits could be added later as a summer course or as a heavier semester as an upper classman. I know one very smart, high-achieving freshman who’s been taking 18-credits since his first quarter of college. There’s still three months left of his first year and guess who’s feeling burned out? 

Like #4’s tips on freedom, make sure you are sleeping and eating regularly. Scientists at the University of Töbingen in Germany have discovered that sleep allows us to process and encode recent learning, so sacrificing sleep for more social time or even studying all night does not benefit you. And as your brain becomes undernourished from sleep, you’ll become edgier and more stressed out.

 Nutrition can really enhance sleep. And while coffee does have caffeine, it does not contain nutrients. 

 

Finally, if you find yourself stressed out, make sure to communicate with loved ones and someone at school. My students often feared having “excuses” about missed class, late, or missing work but after a conversation about their lives I sometimes learned of problems at home, a very stressful class, internal pressure, and so much more. In those times, I was able to validate the real challenges of college and offer support. The mantra here is communicate, communicate, communicate. Call home and tell your loved ones about your life. Talk to your professors and advisors. Talk to your friends and roommates at school. Isolating yourself means it’s just you and your stress hanging out 24/7. The University of Georgia also has an excellent guide on managing stress in college, accessible to anyone on their website.

 

There are certainly other transition issues that colleges address every year. Your school will have a page on their website called “college adjustment” or something similar to The University of Santa Cruz’s page devoted to helping college students.

Bailey, a junior at Chapman University in Orange, California, reminds us of the original vision of leaving home for college. She advises college bound students to, “Pick a place where you want to spend the best four years of your life. And don’t forget to call mom once in a while!” The “best four years of your life” is something you can contribute to as you adjust and learn to take care of yourself at college. "Calling mom" or special person in your life will help you remain open and connected to the people you love. As you leave home for college or experience your first year of college, remember that most of us already know the problems you’ll face. 

 

College adjustment is a normal part of starting your undergraduate career, but it’s also a time for self-definition and balancing self-reliance with support. So more than worrying about making us at home proud, decide what being proud of yourself looks like, your very own health and wellness prescription. And if you’re not sure, add this inquiry to the goals for your new college setting—the just-right place to write your own recipe for a healthy college adjustment.

 

 

 

 

2

GROWING A LUSCIOUS LEXICON

[WRITING/LIFE]

Are you hungry? According to Susan Engel, a developmental psychologist and educator, curiosity is an appetite. And yet hunger is likely the most essential ingredient for acquiring and utilizing new words. In my required college classes, I routinely ask students about their personal goals for the course. Surprisingly, or perhaps not, students often list 'improving their vocabulary' as a goal.

From classrooms to cocktail parties, this topic seems to find me. There are the word nerds like myself, who find the discussion of Latin roots titillating, and the word wishers, who regret they cannot recall the plethora of the words they once crammed into their brain for the SAT. And there are even the word alarmists, who fear that emoticons and text vernacular are replacing lucid expression.

What the party goers and college students (sometimes they are one and the same) have in common is that they are hungry for new ways to grow their word bank. But according to linguists, we do the bulk of our language acquisition in the preschool years. So how do we go about adding in new words when the language 'time of our life' has already passed? Like almost everything else in life, it's a mindset. Those who've attended my language pep talks have heard a similar list (party goers should beware of casual mention of semi-colons, as I have a reputation for exuberant and impromptu lessons), but for anyone else hoping to enhance their vocabulary knowledge or rekindle their love of language, here's a word or two about just that.

1. Word loss is a thing. New vocabulary words, much like a foreign language, are a 'use or lose' proposition. As you encounter new words, employ them in as many ways imaginable. Neuroscientists speak of building new pathways in your memory by creating associations with existing words, images, and experiences. And remember that homework exercise, where you write sentences with assigned vocabulary words? What happens when you insist that those sentences have actual relevance in your life, when the words must be associated with historical facts, movie characters, parents, or bosses? This is the important work of truly acquiring the language versus stuffing your brain with letters. The most natural way of regularly acquiring new words is not much of a secret, but you might like a reminder. Reading, especially fiction, increases vocabulary even as we age.
2. Word Trivia. What word connoisseurs have in common is that we think words are fun. Our affinity for language may happen below the surface of our awareness, but raising our awareness for new language is part of being hungry. As you encounter new words, don't let them passively flit by you. There's a reason why the preschool years, or the 'Why?' phase, tops the developmental stages for language acquisition. Notice unfamiliar words. Ask the dictionary more than why, but what, how, and when? Wonder about slang terms and usage. Just a quick search through google reveals that Vanilla Ice's well-known lyric 'word to your mother' has more than one explanation, ranging from 'give my regards to your mom' or 'a reference to Africa as the motherland.' Word etymology is also a fantastic playground for memory. For example, when you discover that 'belligerence' and 'bellicose' both come from the latin root 'bell' for war, but are used in different contexts, you not only learn a new word but also a way of remembering it.
3. Play with your Words. This point cannot be overstated. I often recommend that whole families get involved (and excited!) in language acquisition. It's much more fun if everyone in the family is trying on new words together. No one at home to play with? Try it out on the unsuspecting public. Walk by a row of tulips in springtime and announce that the gardens are simply floriferous and just watch the faces of those around you. For more fun, act normal about it. You can even play with words all by yourself with great web games from com or vocabulary testers like testyourvocab.com.
4. Word of the Day. I have a 'word of the day' calendar on my desk that my students see when they first walk into my office. Many of our sessions begin with talking about the new word, initiated not by me, but by them. You'd be surprised how many words you know (or don't know) when you see a new one daily. Like #1 of this list, challenge yourself to use the new word to maximize the meaning. Maybe slip it into a Facebook post just see who's reading.  (It's likely a better test than asking someone to pass along your post if they really love you.) I also subscribe to com's 'Word of the Day,' which rarely fails to introduce me to strange and exotic words ripe for usage. Today dictionary.com's WOD is 'minatory,' meaning menacing or threatening but read further for the extra credit: "His features had lost their delicately benevolent aspect; his words were minatory." Tucked in our sample sentence is an SAT favorite, benevolent; moreover, for total grammar geeks like me this sentence models a great application of the semi-colon. Plus, we get to see minatory in action!
5. Word Transformers. Perhaps you are one of the lucky ones who already knows the meaning of whoppers like ambiguous or bellicose. But can you easily name their part of speech? While many of us know they are adjectives, what happens when you consider their noun form? If you said 'ambiguity' or 'bellicosity' then you know a thing or two already, but for all of us, consider how testing your knowledge of parts of speech lends itself to even more delicious words. You may even feel your brain grow. This method is one of my favorites for showing students how they can magnify their learning by paying attention to something they learned in grade school. And who doesn't like a reminder that they are already pretty smart?

When it comes to language, there really is something for everyone; it's just a matter of your appetite. For most of us, the days of swallowing vocabulary words have long passed, and now it's up to us to imbibe more thoughtfully or let the tasty language morsels fall like crumbs beneath the table. For me? I'll take the word buffet please--for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

3

COLLEGE ESSENTIALS: FIVE HEALTHY HABITS [LIFE]

When Chris started his first quarter of college, the plan was to turn in everything on time and get straight As. However, the first week he got the stomach virus going around campus, the second week he slept through his alarm and missed his morning classes, and the third week his high school girlfriend who attends a different college broke up with him on his birthday. Chris would go to class, but his mind was elsewhere. He tried to catch up on a few assignments but ended up fighting through online distractions instead. He started staying up later which rushed his mornings and caused him to miss breakfast. What sleep Chris got was strained, and soon falling asleep in class was a pattern. His motivation was in a slump, too. Wasn’t college supposed to be the best years of his life? He didn’t dream of telling his parents either who were still riding high on the wave of his graduation and acceptance into his first choice school. The best answer seemed to forget about it—to stuff his feelings of failure. Going to parties and staying out late seemed to help with this solution, but missing more classes and falling further behind did not. The only thing Chris felt confident about was the impression his professors thought he was a flake. After all, their only interactions came from questions about his missing or late work...

 

Chris’s story may sound like an exaggeration, but in fact, his experience unfortunately resembles many of my former freshman’s lives. And it never surprised me when Chris or Samantha or Tom or Kaitlin finally revealed their series of struggles—not because I actually believed these students were flaky but because, like most adults, I’m old enough to have experienced the consequences of my own unhelpful choices combined with life’s poor timing. You can’t plan for illness, mistakes, or heartbreaks. We don’t write “skip class” on our calendars. These events happen off the page of our planners. 

 

Unfortunately, students who keep heartaches and self-loathing to themselves live in a world of pain and isolation in a new environment. And if they wait until the end of the term, their professors can’t help them and they often fail our classes. They sometimes imagine their professors or parents can’t understand their problems—students may even imagine they’re failing at their debut in adulthood. But the truth is many of your parents, professors, and counselors have a menu of resources to help you through a hard time, and their words of understanding and encouragement may even help you get back on track. In some ways, asking for help when you’re in over your head might be the most mature thing you can do. 

 

It’s not possible to avoid all of the challenges in the opening scenario, or to always make the best decision for yourself. According to the growing field of brain research, adolescents often learn to spot a bad decision by first making one. But even if you can’t always make the right call, you can set yourself up to weather obstacles by looking at your routines and habits. These constant companions make a big difference with avoiding certain failure and getting back on track when we blow it. 

 

Charles Duhigg, the author of The Power of Habit, has interviewed psychologists, behavioral specialists, and businesses to further understand the outline of a habit. Duhigg has identified the ingredients of what he calls the habit loop as the following: cue, routine, and reward. In fact, Duhigg argues that learning to identify our routines allows us to experiment with rewards, isolate cues, and create new plans. That means you can both eliminate bad habits AND form new ones. So if you want to pave the way for your future success in college, Duhigg would encourage you to begin by studying your routines. He provides an excellent breakdown of how a habit works on his website, where he walks you through his afternoon cookie break—a habit that was taking a toll on his waistline.   

 

College students are not that different from Duhigg and the rest of us really, except your habits—like sleeping, studying, class attendance, and even cookie breaks—are suddenly under new scrutiny. No longer under the management of caregivers, you must now develop your own routines. Are there any routines that could have saved Chris in the opening example? If it’s possible to alter a habit to improve your chances of success, to save yourself from Chris’s first quarter fate, there's still time to make some adjustments and look out for your future self. Below are a list of habits, I’d love to see college students embrace.

 

Believe. 

In the opening example, Chris set his expectations very high: straight As and perfect attendance. You can’t get any higher than perfection. However, when problems and mistakes occurred, the tendency for many students like Chris is to hide or to forget. Why? Because the shame of failure is too great. Too many students, and too many people for that matter, practice a kind of self-loathing that’s very unproductive. So, you messed up? We all do. What you do next is what counts. And your comeback plan begins with believing you already have what it takes to recover.

 

 

In terms of habit, work to interrupt the negative feedback loop around failure. Replace this tape with honest thoughts like, “Well, I really messed up by sleeping through my alarm. I feel awful. But tomorrow, I’m going to talk to my professor and get back on track.” Another habit to cement before college is to predetermine your support team. Create a system where you give permission for loved ones to ask questions about your well-being and promise to tell the truth. When we’re down on ourselves, it helps to have those who care about us checking in, rather than relying on us to reach out. 

 

Strategize. 

Many students struggle with punctuality and attendance, and these are certainly habits to address, but planning ahead may be an even better habit to consider. If you are not using a calendar or a planner in high school, commit to using one or both tools as you start your first term of college. 

 

Unlike high school classes that may assign outlines and first drafts, your college courses will use syllabi and course schedules to communicate course expectations, projects, and assigned reading. Some classes may assign only reading and a final paper due on the last day of class. If you haven’t been organizing your life around this due date, you will experience immense stress and likely submit a poor performance. And because your college peers will represent a variety of learning styles and abilities, following their habits won’t save you and may even sink you. 

 

Additionally, students like Chris need help to strategize around setbacks. A great habit to practice before and during college is to think through how you’ll encounter obstacles and the steps you’ll take to recover from a setback. Think of it as a disaster plan. Some students are so rigid with their expectations they won’t drop classes or ask for extensions when they’re in academic hot water. In the end, they do poorly in all of their classes because they resist accepting the challenge is too big to overcome.There’s believing in yourself and then there’s being realistic about your options.While I don’t recommend planning to drop classes or asking for paper extensions as a habit, deciding in advance what circumstances could lead to this action is helpful should you face this tough decision. Note: Not everyone leaving for college understands how to think and plan ahead or how to see their time—I highly recommend working with an executive function coach before college or finding online resources in this area. Mary Dee Sklar is an educator who offers online resources, and in the Portland area, I always recommend Dr. Deborah Barany, an excellent executive function coach in addition to other specialties. 

 

Unplug. 

We all love funny videos and staying connected through social media. And then there are movies and video games and seasons upon seasons on Netflix. But college is a fantastic opportunity to hit the reset button on your recreational use of technology. Why? Because you’ll actually be using devices with screens a lot—for research, for writing, for reading your online syllabi, and more. These important uses of technology will entice you to take breaks, which can turn into hours of stolen time from your projects. Instead, create a habit for rationing breaks to check your favorite platforms and various devices by giving yourself a time limit. Also, breaks should include food, hydration, and moving around, not just the healthy distraction of your favorite movie. Finally, remember your brain can’t concentrate for hours at a time, so plan ahead to chunk your study time with regular breaks. Every student is different but a lot of research suggests breaks after 50 minutes.

 

Caretake.

For many of us, leaving home provides our long awaited independence but introduces a brand new challenge: taking care of our most basic needs. From laundry to bed time, it’s suddenly up to you to determine how to nurture yourself with the essentials—food, rest, and hygiene. Will you do laundry twice a week or once a week? Will you clean your dorm just when your roommate is fed up? Or will you clean up daily to maintain a healthy environment? Will you plan on 8 hours of sleep, 6 hours of sleep—at what point is 4 hours of sleep nightly a problem for you? Much like planning ahead, looking to your peers may not be helpful here. You may have plenty of friends able to stay out all night, attend classes, and succeed with As and Bs. But most of us cannot thrive in such conditions. Another way of thinking of it is to consider your thrive conditions. Ask yourself: what are my optimal conditions for thriving? How can I design my college life around an understanding of them (even if I can’t have them all the time)?

 

Developing habits around your self-care plan is another crucial way to help yourself succeed in college. Because some of these routines have been taken care of by your family, it’s important to create expectations for yourself about how you’ll meet these needs independently. 

 

Communicate. 

My advice to new college students is to be open about failures (slept through an alarm) and genuine embarrassment (this is not the kind of student I want to be, and I have taken steps to avoid this mistake in the future). Talk to loved ones and friends about emotional pain (I really miss my girlfriend) and the challenges of focusing on classes (I just want to sleep in my own bed). You will need these communication skills for the rest of your life, and college is a fantastic place to practice. Many of your college professors have children of their own or have faced the same challenges you’re facing. Not everyone will be empathetic, but my guess is the majority will listen and give you feedback about how to improve in their classes. If Chris would have reached out to his professor after his initial stomach virus, he would have gotten advice on how to catch up—perhaps the professor would have advised him on which work to make up and which work to leave unfinished. But more importantly, Chris would have created a connection point with this professor, and now she would have Chris on her radar. Big schools may not give you an opportunity to talk with your professors, but you can use other tools, like email, to communicate.

 

Just like you set an alarm for class, build a habit around talking to loved ones and close friends by scheduling a time on your calendar. Commit to honestly sharing your challenges, failures, and successes. If someone at home isn’t able to give you that support, find support at your college from establishing close friendships or even visiting the health center to speak with a counselor. Remember that it’s not necessary to share all of your problems with all of your friends and professors, but having at least one person you trust can make a big difference in your college experience.

 

Spending an hour or two prior to every term to identify your goals, routines, and plans for success can be a great way to do more than dream but hold yourself accountable to your dreams. Your future self says thank you. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Victoria Payne

Victoria is a writer, story coach, and author of Write Big: From College Application Essay to Storytelling Standout. She's helped hundreds of students find their voice, gain admission, and win scholarships through her Write Big process. College bound students can learn learn more about how to write like a storyteller and standout in her free training.